A Breakfast Surprise
by albe-chan
Summary: Remus and Sirius are naughty boys...what happens when the Headmaster finds them in the Great Hall after a night of passion? SLASH! SBRL and implied ADMM ONESHOT


**A Breakfast Surprise **

**DISCLAIMER: **I do NOT own Harry Potter, or any of the characters mentioned in this story, unless stated otherwise. Rated for some sexual content, violence and language. Any similarities to real life are purely coincidence and I will not be held responsible! Thanks!

_**WARNING:**_ WILL CONTAIN SLASH (male on male)!! Ye be warned

**Author's Note: **right…I'm bored, so the result will be a random one-shot…enjoy! And y'know what Grammar Check…I hate you…yeah, I just went there… Pray for my sanity…

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"You know Sirius, this would be much easier if I didn't have to question my morals while doing it." Remus Lupin was being led by the hand by his very exuberant, not to mention _very_ aroused, boyfriend, Sirius Black, down the stone steps to the Gryffindor common room.

"Questioning your morals? Mooney, that you still _have_ morals after hanging around James and I for six years is amazing. Besides, you know it turns you on."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Unlike you, having sex in random places is not erotic…it is slightly mortifying."

Sirius grinned. "Then why do you do it?"

_Good point._ "To shut you up so I can sleep. If my conscience will let me of course."

Sirius merely laughed at this however, and they continued down the steps to the common room.

"So where are we going tonight?" Remus asked as Sirius pulled out the Invisibility Cloak he had usurped from the trunk of a currently slumbering messy-haired bespectacled boy. Sirius threw the Cloak over them with a flourish.

"That," he replied, squeezing his bum affectionately, "is a surprise."

Five minutes later, they stood by the doors to the Great Hall where, in about eight or so hours time, people would be coming in for breakfast. Remus looked at his companion. "You've got to be kidding me," he hissed. "Are you mad?"

"Most likely. C'mon, I don't want to get caught just standing out here with you. It would ruin my horrendous reputation." He took Remus firmly by the hand and pulled open the heavy wooden doors that had been closed for the evening. "It was either here or McGonagall office, but I thought this would appeal to you more."

Then, with another bout of creaking wood, shut them behind them. Remus drew the Cloak off them and looked at him.

"I really don't fancy doing…things where I eat my breakfast."

Sirius came up to him, kissing him gently in the long lingering way Remus liked best. "We don't have to do things on the Gryffindor table. I was personally thinking the staff table."

Both boys looked over at the long wooden table that stretched across the raised platform. It was typical Sirius to want to get his rocks off over the Headmaster's dinner place. It was one of the many reasons he loved him though.

Sirius' mouth was on his again, his tongue pressed to Lupin's lips, silently begging for entrance, and the young werewolf granted it. Sirius was walking them toward the staff table and Remus let himself be led, too absorbed in kissing Sirius back to notice.

Sirius, for his part, felt the familiar sense of growing need he got whenever he kissed Mooney, as well as the rush of adrenaline that the risk of being caught brought on. It was a heady mixture to be sure, and one he craved. They bumped against the wooden table and Sirius, drunk with lust, pushed Remus back onto it.

"Wait," panted Remus as Sirius kissed down his neck.

"Less talking," replied Sirius, unbuttoning the other boy's shirt. "More undressing."

Remus made to reply, but then Sirius bit at his shoulder in exactly the right spot and all coherent thought went flying through the proverbial window. His legs turned to jell-o and Sirius lifted his lithe frame to sit on the table before him, sucking the place he had bitten.

Remus fumbled at his belt and Sirius grinned. If Remus was completely honest with himself, which he avoided doing because he often found he disliked what he saw or found himself too much like Sirius and James for his own good, he was as aroused as his boyfriend.

The thought of being caught at any possible moment seemed to only sharpen his need and the fact that Sirius had just ripped off his shirt was also helping.

He pushed Sirius' own hastily unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, their lips not breaking the kiss. Sirius had his tongue in Remus' mouth and his hands were now divided between teasing Remus' nipples and undoing his trousers.

Then they were both clad only in their underpants and Sirius was caressing Remus through the thin fabric, eliciting delicious groans that only increased his own painful erection. God how he wanted him right then. But he wasn't anything if not a Black…he would make Remus work for it.

Sirius suddenly pulled away then, looking at Remus as he sat on the edge of the staff table, eyes half-closed in lust, legs open to him, and dressed in naught but a pair of underwear. If that wasn't arousing Sirius didn't know if he could handle what was. And then Remus licked his lips, slow and provocative, and Sirius found out.

"Fuck Mooney…" he groaned. Remus smiled, leaning back, his weight supported on his arms and Sirius realized just how naughty the prefect could really be. His eyes flicked to his bulging erection, still trapped by his underwear. It was too much.

Remus saw him looking and opened his legs a bit more. He couldn't help himself. He was always a wanton boy when Sirius was around. "Sirius" he all but purred, and saw the other boy shiver slightly. "Mmm…I want you."

Sirius blinked, his eyelids seeming to resist opening again. "And I want to fuck you senseless. What a predicament." He wasn't really aware of thinking about it; the words just sort of tumbled out of his mouth. Remus chuckled huskily.

Then Sirius had no self control left, he came at Mooney, pushing him back to lie on the table, and they rolled so Mooney was on top, but that wouldn't do. Sirius was never one to shy away from a little turn and turn about, but not tonight.

He rolled them so he was the dominant once more, hurriedly stripping them both of the rest of their clothes, both panting and licking a biting. Feeling the rush of something building and the furious pumping of their own and each other's heartbeats.

Remus was a bit startled when Sirius replaced his tongue in his mouth with his fingers, but greedily began sucking on them, too caught up in the way Sirius teased the heavy sac of his balls. His tongue worked frantically coating his lover's fingers in his own saliva, and Sirius wondered if he could come just from watching Remus do it. God, he didn't doubt it, but this was not the time for such dalliances. He swiftly removed his fingers, pressing them to the tight ring of muscle between Remus' cheeks.

Remus groaned as Sirius slid his finger in then out, then in again. He was lying on his back, and it was much more painful this way, but the lycanthrope loved it. He hissed in delighted pleasure and Sirius bit at his chest, leaving a deep red mark that would slowly turn purple before fading. Soon another finger joined the first and Padfoot scissored them in and out, stretching and readying his lover.

"Remus look at me" said Sirius, withdrawing his two fingers, pressing his throbbing, _aching_ cock to his entrance. God he wanted to fuck him and never stop. Remus looked up and Sirius saw how badly he wanted this. He rammed himself in, all the way to the hilt, pressing Mooney into the wood beneath them, feeling the most delicious sense of being compressed and the heat…good Lord the heat.

"Fuck Mooney, how do you always feel like this is your first time?" he panted, pulling out so only the tip remained before thrusting back in.

Lupin moaned throatily, the sound of it echoing across the Great Hall. Sirius kept on thrusting, too caught up with his own need, his own desire, that for a moment, he forgot that it was Mooney who writhed and moaned, connected to him by a shaft of blood-engorged flesh, beneath him.

Then he felt something brush his stomach and realized Remus was pleasuring himself in time to Sirius frantic thrusts. He stopped and Remus' eyes snapped open. "Mooney…what the fuck is this?"

Remus looked confused. "Padfoot, I'm halfway to…can you shut up and carry on?"

There was a mischievous glint in Sirius' eyes. One Mooney knew all too well. "Did I _say_ you could do that?"

Remus whimpered at the loss of friction between his bum cheeks. "No…"

Sirius' hand gripped the base of his rock hard cock, teasing him, but not pleasuring him. It was sublime torture and he loved it as much as he hated it.

"Will you ever do it again?"

Remus opened his mouth to respond and a hoarse "No" came out.

"Mmm…good boy" Sirius replied, smothering his mouth with ardent kisses, resuming his pumping in and out of Remus' arse and effectively cutting off the other boy's moans.

His own hand now fisted Remus powerful erection and within minutes they were both shouting their climax, Sirius spilling his seed into Remus' passage and Remus between their sweaty bodies.

Sirius withdrew, collapsing on top of Remus, his arms around the thinner boy, and rolling so they lay on their sides. "That was…" he panted, but words seemed to have left him and he merely nuzzled the werewolf's shoulder.

Remus felt himself drifting off. "Padfoot?" he murmured.

"Hmm?"

"We have to get up…" he said, even though he was drifting further and further into unconsciousness.

"You sleep, I'll wake you in a few minutes" Sirius replied, pulling him closer, and then the lights went out for Remus Lupin.

A heartbeat later, Sirius followed suit and they lay there as the dawn broke and light spilled onto their naked, sleeping forms.

"Minerva, I didn't expect to see you up so early!" said Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He smiled serenely in that old mannish way he had mastered long ago, his eyes twinkling slightly.

"Albus…"greeted the Transfiguration teacher a little wearily. "Couldn't sleep. Thought maybe an early breakfast would be nice."

Dumbledore smiled. "As a matter of fact, I'm headed there myself. May I escort you?"

Minerva McGonagall smiled warmly. "Of course."

The two were immersed in deep conversation about the imminent threat of Lord Voldemort as they entered the Great Hall, and so didn't notice the forms of the two naked young men until they were standing right before the two, sprawled out on the staff table, the other places diligently set out around them by the dutiful house elves.

Minerva's face went bright red and Dumbledore seemed rather impassive as he cleared his throat loudly, although his eyes glittered like mad.

The thinner and paler of the two woke with a start and found himself staring up at his Head of House and the Headmaster dressed in nothing but his birthday suit. And if this wasn't so bad, Sirius was still all over him, snoring softly.

"Sirius, wake up, _now_."

Sirius sat up with a jolt, looked right at McGonagall and muttered, "_Fuck!_" With a wave of his wand, however, Dumbledore had their clothes back on them.

"Explain yourselves!" McGonagall spat in her fury.

"Well…" they began simultaneously.

"No! I do not want to hear this!" she said rather shrilly, apparently changing her mind. Both boy faces were bright red in embarrassment and shame, and looked at their feet. "Now I don't know whatever possessed the two of you to…engage in such _activities_ on the staff table, but I can assure you the consequences will be dire!"

"Oh, come now Minerva. I'm sure Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin have suffered enough by their own actions. In this case, perhaps that is punishment enough."

Remus and Sirius jerked their heads up to stare in awe and the Headmaster.

"Headmaster, these two boys were caught-"

Dumbledore raised a hand serenely. "I am aware of that Minerva, but you of all people should know the folly of youthful ardour." He then winked conspiratorially at the two boys before dismissing them.

Sirius and Remus practically ran from the room, both biting back grins and reigning in their laughter until they were two floors away.

"Dumbledore…" panted Sirius, in his laughter, "and… Oh God…oh my God we need to tell Prongs and Wormtail, this is too rich."

Remus sobered. "No. We shouldn't. I mean, do you want people to blab about your sex life?"

Sirius looked thoughtful until they reached the Fat Lady. "Fine…but you can't deny it's funny."

Remus snorted. "Of course…who would have thought, the Headmaster sleeping with his staff…Merlin, no wonder they always got on so well."

Sirius giggled. "More like got off."

Remus rolled his eyes.

Minerva looked at Albus. "They aren't thick. They'll figure out what you meant y'know."

Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling like diamonds once more. "Maybe, maybe not. I have a feeling no one would believe them though."

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

The old Headmaster chuckled. "What sort of teenager wants to imagine 'old people' having relations?"

McGonagall smirked. "One with a sick, sick imagination."

**Author's Note: **so this is crappy, I know, but I tried…I couldn't think of a good ending and I just wanted it done…hope you enjoyed!


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